Day 15 Well, last night I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. It was more or less mutual, at least, but still not easy. Still processing feelings, etc. I think I had been unhappy in the relationship for a long time, and quitting gaming might have given me the extra energy and motivation I needed to actually confront the situation and do something about it. No longer able to bury myself in games and numb my emotions that way, I was compelled to take action to make my life better. At least, that's how it feels. The world feels a little bit lighter today. I'm both excited and scared for the future. The momentum that I've gained from the last 2 weeks of being on this site and involved with the game-quitting community has given me a good amount of momentum to continue building a life that I am proud of. I have started going to social events a bit (went to one meet-up group yesterday). I'm know it will take time, but I hope that showing up to group events consistently with a positive attitude will help me make some new friends and connections.
1. I am grateful for rain. 2. I am grateful for fiction. 3. I am grateful for my cozy apartment.
EDIT: P.S. Also someone reblogged my blog post about stopping video games, which is cool ha. Didn't expect that so soon. A small thing, but it feels good.
Hello! Whoa! Really enjoyed my time at the camp! Just having fun with friends, eating and drinking really well. I want to take all that I can from books. Reading is good, but I the kind of a person who also needs some concrete practice. I set a goal for the following week. As Carnegie suggested I will try to live a day at the time. Focusing on just what I'm going to do that day, not worrying about future nor past. For some reason there has been slight anxiety in my life. I think it's due to my connection to a girl. Im a bit clueless about what to do with her. Meditation: Its currently my eighth day! I'm doing fairly well. Staring to notice how the "soft focus" feels like. I'm grateful for: Singing with friendsFresh apples from our yardMeeting new people at the campUpcoming Holiday. It's already here?!?Improving step-by-stepClih
Today was another good day! It was quite busy all day as the wife and I got a ton of things done around the house and outside. It's awesome to get caught up on things. We did laundry, winterized, sent out some mail, vacuumed, cleaned, organized, replaced filters, grocery shopped, home repaired, did homework, got books for the baby, and had fun! My baby is almost ready to crawl! I can see her putting her knees up in the crawling position and moving them back and forth. Once she can coordinate her knees with her arms, she's going to be moving! That just makes the need for babyproofing a little more urgent. I'm so grateful that I can watch her be on the verge of crawling without thinking about playing some video game. I'm so happy to be fully present in these moments. I'm thankful for: Not being a procrastinator anymore.The fun new books I got from the library for myself and my baby! She enjoys when we read to her, and I hope to help make her love of books a lifelong one.The insurance I bought for my wife's engagement ring. Today was the fourth time she's had to use it. I love the ring design, but the quality is not as good as it should be.My cat cuddling up with me as I relax.My wife for putting up with my spastic way of getting things done sometimes.My baby for being so determined to crawl.The delicious wine we're having right now.Having a great mental focus throughout the day.Getting one day closer to reaching my goals! I'm definitely on the right side of the Slight Edge.Being happy. This is how I know I will be successful in all of my goals!
Hi Primmulla. May it be that you play games to take a break from being social? That's how it was for me. I never really cared for the social aspect of gaming and always declined "friendship" requests. The whole point of gaming was to get away from others and carve out some personal space. If you like me are an introvert, being social drains you and you recharge by being alone. For extraverts it works the other way around. So I interpreted Cam's point as "gaming feels like you are replenishing your energies".
Day 3. Isn't it cool to run through tall grass, faster than anyone else and as deadly as the shotgun you are carrying? Good morning. You are still dreaming of gaming, aren't you? Whatever. Some quiet time in bed. Focus on breathing. Mind is calm and up we go. I made lunch for everybody and did some chores. Sang along to some French songs: if I don't use it more I'm going to keep searching for words when I need it at work. Felt good. A nice walk, then play time with the kids. Focusing on their fun makes all the difference. My wife remarks that I never go out by myself. She's right, so here I go. No gaming tonight. Time to get off the train.
Thanks Chris! What tricked me back into excessive gaming was thinking I had almost arrived where I wanted to be in life, combined with all the stress I accumulated along the way. I told to myself I deserved a break, and that's absolutely true. But my situation is not the same it was when gaming worked as a relief. It was like taking the wrong medicine, and I'm also not the same patient anymore. So yes, realize that we're in an endless journey and that we're constantly changing, suck it up and carry on :}
Day 14 Made it to two weeks! Glad you guys liked the blog post(s). Again, got up early and made it to a coffee shop to be productive. This is getting easier as I go. I want to make this my new norm on days off, rather than sleeping in super late. I have several social thing splanned for this weekend, and I actually went out to dinner and drinks last night w/ girlfriend + friends, so I got some social action in there. It's funny, after you start taking a couple social steps, the social anxiety that kept me in the house can start to melt away pretty quickly. Brief update for today because I'm short on time. Hope you guys are having a good day.
1. I am grateful for modern dentistry. 2. I am grateful for freshly baked butter croissants. 3. I am grateful for Meetup groups.
Hey I actually reached 101 days yesterday! We're basically an elite group at this point so we should give ourselves a fun group name, like, ''Game Quitters Legends''. Anyway, here's what I've learned over the last 101 days or so: 1. You need social support to make massive changes in your life. Joining this forum & talking to you guys made me remember that I can't be awesome without social support to push me in the right direction. As a teenager, I thought I could do it all by myself, especially since I felt that people in my life were actively trying to stop me from achieving my goals, but now, I've realized that if I'm going against the world, I might as well recruit the world to help me. 2. Don't try to quit any other habits when you're getting rid of an addiction, just focus on refraining from the one thing. Also, you have to want something with every fiber of your being in order to get it. That intense focus & drive is what will make you successful at anything. 3. There's no shame in going online if you can't find the support you need in real life. This is what brought me to this forum; I wanted to make these changes in my life, but nobody in my real life was supporting me in them. And hey, it's 2015, not 1995. 4. Writing stuff down on the Internet, where it stays forever, actually helps massively in forcing you to stay with your commitments. It's almost like you're promising the entire world you're going to do something; that level of accountability kind of forces you to do what you'll say you'll do; it helped me cut down greatly on all of the excuses I was making to myself & others, stop lying, get to the bottom of my problems, & start overcoming them. 5. Self-improvement is a process: it takes time, and you have to be willing to stick with it, no matter how frustrating it gets. If you do, the end payoff will be bigger than you ever thought. 6. Making mistakes/relapsing is not the end of the world; as long as you're not dead, you can always bounce back. This is actually my 3rd attempt at quitting games; my 1st & 2nd ones lasted just under 30 days each. This forum gave me the courage to get up & try again. Peace out! Btw, check out some new pics of me trying on new clothes at the mall (to celebrate 100 days & make sure I achieved it, I went shopping for new clothes):
?Remember that the point of meditation is to be peaceful in this chaos. It's not about being able to able to do meditation well or not, it's about regardless of how it goes, easy, hard, whatever, that you are there in it and continue anyways. That's why meditation is one of the best ways to improve your life - it teaches you how to be in that same state outside of meditation, when in all honesty, life is chaotic and out of your control in many ways, so all you can control is how you show up, and a great place to start is to be at peace with whatever is happening in the moment, even chaos.
Hey, Superman isn't boring... Thanks for sharing your blog though! I really enjoyed both pieces, as they both resonated with me. I, too, am a perfectionist, and definitely struggle with that often. I agree that sometimes you just have to suck it up and put out the best you could do and be okay with that. It's scary, but it's much better than the alternative of getting nowhere in life lol. And it is weird what happens when we finally stop distracting ourselves with gaming long enough to face our true issues. I've been catching glimpses of what I've been shoving down for years, and it is frightening. It will be worth it to work on them though. I can only come out of it as a better and stronger person, and the same goes for you. Keep up the great work though man. We'll get through this eventually, and find that oh so beautiful life waiting for us on the other side . Gotta get through all the muck first though. Fight on, friend!
Welcome Tom! It really is simple, yet at the same time can be so difficult. Especially if you are struggling with an addiction to gaming and hiding from your RL. Sometimes it just requires us to take a step back and reevaluate our lives. I'm glad to see that you've done that, and found that there is a better path! Looking forward to hearing more from you as your journey progresses
So many books to read! I'll be sure to add that one to my list as well! I've noticed that some days I really struggle through meditating as well. I only do it for 10 minutes, but yesterday was one of the worst sessions for me. I guess some days it is easier to find an inner peace than others! Keep up the great progress man! Sounds like things are really looking up for you .
DAY 6 You both have great points. I'm learning slowly that my schedule is very flexible, and I'm not beating myself up for not doing things on time. As long as I get the things done during the day that I need to get done, I'm happy. My main concern recently has been my health. I've been using an app called MyFitnessPal to keep track of what I'm eating throughout the day. I used to be in the habit of tracking my day a few months ago, but I let that habit fall by the wayside so I'm picking it back up again. Additionally, I just signed up for a healthy cooking/nutrition class offered through my local university. Every Saturday throughout October I'm going to go to class for an hour and a half and learn from a nutritionist how to cook healthily. Hopefully this will give me the direction that I so desperately need right now, because I'm feeling fairly overwhelmed. It was only ~$140, for a 6 week course (i missed the first week already, meh..), but I think it will be awesomely helpful. We'll see! Tomorrow morning I am going to the pick up soccer meetup, so I'm looking forward to that! I'm hoping to meet some new people and maybe make some new friends! I opened up to my parents today about the changes happening in my life. They were pretty proud of me, so that felt good. I started to feel a little overwhelmed because I have the urge to try and help them out as much as possible, but I know I can't change their lives. That is their decision to make, and I just need to set the best example I can I guess. It's definitely tough to deal with these feelings though. I want them to be happy and healthy, but I have no control over that and it is frustrating. Besides those few things, the past day or so has been relatively uneventful. I'm hoping to get more things done in the coming days and weeks, but it's all little steps, so for now I'm pleased. Gratitude Journal (Day 3) 11. I'm thankful for my loving and supportive family12. I'm thankful for cheap classes offered to the community through universities13. I'm thankful for awesome people creating awesome music (check out this forum!)14. I'm thankful for this community of awesome people to help keep me on track and give me tips for when I need them 15. I'm thankful for moccasin slippers, because they are super comfy!Hope all is well with you, friends!
Hey folks! I just finished reading "Meditations" and I've got to say that this is one of these books that you have to read every 6 months. The first time you read it will be hard, because you will have to reflect upon each entry. i guess the next times I'll read it again it will be faster. Just to make me aware of its knowledge. The book has teached me a lot about mastering my emotions and how and why to cease the day. I'd say it's life changing if you really look into it. Totally recommend it to everyone. What I've learned: Not to let anger, pain and envy take control of me;That most of my worries and pain are only there, because of my judgements;(Not learned, but really understood) That life is very brief and that we must live it with a set of values;And more.Here are the quotes that I found more important to me: - "You should take no action unwillingly, selfishly, uncritically, or with conflicting motives... Let the god that is within you be the champion of the being you are..." - "When circumstances force you to some sort of distress, quickly return to yourself. Do not stay out of rhythm for longer than you must: You will master the harmony the more by constantly going back to it." - "This should be your practice throughout all your life: When things have such a plausible appearance, show them naked, see their shoddiness, strip away their boastful account of themselves." - "If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one's self-deception and ignorance." - "Imagine you were now dead, or had not lived before this moment. Now view the rest of your life as a bonus, and live it as nature directs." - "When you have done good and another has benefited, why do you still look, as fools do, for a third thing besides - credit for good works, or a return?" - "In every contingency keep in your mind's eye those who had the same experience before, and reacted with vexation, disbelief, or complaint. So where are they now? Nowhere. Well then, do you want to act like them? Why not leave the moods and shifts of others to the shifting and the shifted, and for youself concentrate wholly on how to make use of these contigencies? You will then use them well, and they will be raw material in your hands. Only take care, and seek your own best good in all that you do. Remember these two things: the action is important, the context indifferent." - "Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretence." - "Everything has come into being for a purpose - a horse, say, a vine. Does this surprise you? Even the sun will say, 'I came into being for a purpose': likewise the other gods. For what purpose, then, were you created? For your pleasure? Just see whether this idea can be entertained."-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 9 of Meditation and Day 10 of the Funniness exercise: Wow, this meditation was hard! Really focused on my breathing this time. Drifted a lot, but I managed to return to myself and focus on my breathing. The funniness exercise was hard. I drifted quite a bit in the end of each exercise... My mind is fighting me D: Gratefulness (10th day) I'm grateful for: 51. The insights that Marcus Aurelius shared; 52. Having more books to read; 53. Having a lot to do; 54. Starting to master my emotions; 55. Weekend!
I was sticking blocks together with a pickaxe. Wait, what? I never played Minecraft in my life! This must be a dream. Oh yes, it is. Good morning. Dreaming about gaming is not new to me. Scrolling lines of text. Exploring. Fighting. Rocket jumping. And games I never played or that don't even exist. Thinking about gaming is not new to me either. Lately I've been going over map routes and card combinations at the most bizarre moments. This happened today as well, in flashes. I just took notice of the thoughts and let them go. Deciding to quit had a good effect on my mood. I found it easier to focus on work and I felt a bit more energetic. For my weight training session I switched the usual metal for some reggae, just for fun, and I was pleased with my performance. Then I grabbed a basketball and went to shoot some hoops at the park across the street. I chatted with a couple of mums and appreciated the fact that I wouldn't have met them had I been playing video games instead. My wife and kids joined me and we spent the rest of the day together. I felt even better. Now I'm writing ten lines and deleting nine, recollecting good and bad times and making the necessary comparisons. It's so simple after all: identify your real priorities, draw your own map and follow it. Rinse and repeat. I've done it before, I'm doing it again. No problem.
Today is another good day! My baby was able to sleep straight through the night so my wife and I were able to start the day fresh. This is such a big difference maker. I guess that it's normal for babies that usually sleep through the night to have isolated nights where they wake up a whole lot. It's very comforting to feel like I don't have to keep trying to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. Also, my cold is 95% gone. I was able to do some light exercise, but not too much because I can feel that if I start breathing too hard, my asthma is going to act up on me.
Meditation is really becoming more powerful for me as I learn more about it. I'm able to combine my newly acquired knowledge with my headspace routine and it's a whole new experience. I've got all my notes together, and I'll soon create a coherent breakdown of the wisdom contained in the book. I'm really looking forward to seeing the end result of this effort!
The weekend has started, and it's a great thing! I spent most of the week feeling sick or sleepy. Today, it's all coming together, and I look forward to spending this time without work very effectively with a feeling of happiness!
I'm thankful for: Feeling better today.Getting a good night's sleep last night.Getting a lot of work done today.Finishing my awesome book.Being happy.A new record low weight! 28 pounds down and 7 to go.My library card. We'll have to see what books I can come home with tomorrow.Having the strength to live my life the way I want to. This definitely has not always been the case.Having the opportunity to see my baby love life.Being able to share my life with a wonderful woman.