Limited Time: Book a 1 on 1 coaching session (1hr) with Cam ($97). Click Here.
Tom2 added a topic in Non-English Language Journals[KO] Tom's journal저는 게임 중독자입니다. 대학교 3학년이구요. 이번 학기 초부터 꾸준히 공부를 해왔어야 하지만, 저는 학생으로서 제 일을 계속 미뤄 왔습니다. '나중에 다 할 수 있겠지' 하면서 계속 컴퓨터 게임이나 하고 살았습니다.
저는 다른 사람들과 의사소통하면서 해야하는 게임을 좋아합니다. Project Reality라는 게임(어느정도 팀플레이를 요구하는 FPS게임입니다)을 정말 많이 했습니다. 분대원들과 잘 협력해서 어떤 목표를 성취하는 그런 순간이 좋더군요. 게다가, 전 세계의 다양한 사람들과 이야기할 수 있다는 것도 좋았습니다. 어떤 분대장들로부터는 일종의 전략적인 기발함까지 경험할 수 있어서 재밌었습니다.
하지만, 시간이 지나면서, 저는 강의 때 교수님들이 가르치는 내용을 이해할 수 없었고, 할 게 정말 많아서 막막한 느낌을 받기 시작했습니다. 저는 이걸 해결하지 못했고, 수업을 들을 때마다 정말 우울하기만 했습니다.
나중에는, 게임 상에서도 자신감을 잃기 시작했습니다. 제가 하던 게임은 군사적인 주제와 밀접한 관련이 있었습니다. 저 또한 몇 달전 군 복무를 했었고, 거기서 여러 가치라던가 교훈들을 배웠었습니다. 하지만 지금은, 제가 배운 것들과 제 삶이 너무 동떨어져 있었습니다.
저는 제 자신한테 실망했습니다. 한때 저는 정말 좋은 학생이었습니다. 성적도 좋았었구요. 대부분의 제 친구들과 주변사람들은 늘 제가 나중에 성공할 거라고 이야기했었습니다. 하지만 지금은, 저는 실패했고 그 사실이 저를 정말 우울하게 했습니다. 그런 생각이 들자, 저는 2주동안 학교도 안 나가고, 밥도 제대로 안 먹고, 잘 씻지도 않고, 그렇게 살았습니다. 집에서 다른 게임이나 하거나, 잠을 자거나 그렇게 살았습니다.
여기까지가 제 이야기입니다.(벌써 새벽 한시네요... 내일을 위해서 자야할듯) 나머지 이야기는 나중에 쓰도록 하겠습니다(제가 어떻게 구조돼서 여기까지 왔는지) 읽어주셔서 감사합니다.
게임 끊은지 #4일째
일어난 시간: 10am
어젯밤 자러 간 시간: 12pm
과제, 중요한 할 일들:
- today : 측량 시험
- thursday : 구조역학 과제
- Friday : 토질역학 과제 & 시험
오늘 일과 요약 #:
- 늦게 일어나서 시험을 못 봤다. 너무 좌절감이 느껴졌고 다시 게임이나 할까, 학교 정말 때려치울까 고민했다.
- 그래도 그냥 계속 하기로 했다. 왜냐면 어쨌든 이번 학기에 난 이미 좋은 학생은 아니니까(+기타 다른 이유들과 자기 합리화를 함)
- gamequitter Youtube videos를 보면서 점심을 먹고, 다음 할 일들에 대해 계획을 세웠다. 친구들에게 과제와 시험 일정에 대해 많이 물어봤다.(2주동안 학교를 안 가서 많이 물어봐야 했다)
- 머리를 잘랐다. 너무 우울해보이기도 했고, 너무 길어서 불편했었기 때문이다.
- 토질역학을 좀 공부했다.
- 예비군 훈련 공지가 나왔는데 날짜가 수업이 많은 날 걸려서 날짜 바꾸는 것에 대해 생각했다. 그런데 같은 과를 같은 날 다 보내는 걸 보니 학교에서 그 날은 휴강을 할 수도 있다는 이야길 듣고 조금 기다려보기로 했다.
- 세탁기를 돌렸다. 특히 이불. 방 청소도 하고, 점심/ 저녁을 먹은 뒤에 미루지 않고 바로 설거지도 했다. 잘 씻고 면도도 했다.
- 부모님과 영상통화. 내 책상, 내 컴퓨터, 냉장고, 침대, 옷장, 부엌, 내 방을 보여줬다. 부모님이 안심하는 것 같았다.
오늘 잘 된 것: 공부를 했고, 과제와 시험 준비를 함
작은 성취들: 방 청소를 함
- 너무 멍청해서 시험을 잘 못볼지언정 결시는 하지 말았어야 했다. 아침에 좀더 일찍 일어나야겠다.
- 쉬는 시간을 좀더 줄여야겠다
오늘 내가 고맙게 느꼈던 일:친구들이 과제, 시험 일정에 대해 잘 알려줘서 고마웠다.
오늘 일어난 일이나 한 일 중 놀라웠던 일 : 대부분의 일을 미루지 않았음. 아주 작은 거라도.
- 6 replies
- 30 views
Tom2 added a topic in Daily JournalsTom's journalHi, my name is Tom and I am a game addict. I'm a University student, 3rd grade. I had to study consistently from the beginning of this semester, but I kept procrastinating my job as a student. I kept playing video games because I thought I could study the whole things later.
I loved playing video games that include some interactions with other players. I played Project Reality(It's a FPS game that requires some teamplay) a lot of times. I was fond of the moments when players in the same squad cooperate so well and achieve some goals. In addition, I could talk to various people around the world. I could experience some kind of... strategic brilliance from some of squad leaders.
However, as time went by, I couldn't understand the things that professors teach. There were a lot of things to do, so I was overwhelmed. I couldn't handle the problems and I wasn't happy when I attend a class.
Eventually, I also began to lose my confidence in the virtual world. The game I had been playing was strongly related to military things. I also worked as a soldier in South Korea a few months ago, and I learned couple of values that the army counts. But now, my life was far from those that I had learned.
So I felt ashamed of myself. I was a really good student who had high grades long times ago. Most of my friends and people around me always told me that I would succeed in the future. But now, I failed and that fact made me depressed. After that time, I didn't go to school for two weeks, didn't eat properly, didin't wash myself, etc. I stayed at home playing other video games(not that FPS game again...) or sleeping.
That's my story...(It's about 1 am... I think I should sleep for the next day...) I'll write down the rest of my story later(From the time when I got saved until now) Thanks for the reading.
Time I woke up: 10am
Time I went to sleep yesterday: 12pm
- today : surveying exam
- thursday : structural mechanics assignment
- Friday : soil mechanics assignment & exam
Summary of Day #:
- woke up too late and failed to take exam... I felt so frustrated and I began to think about relapsing and dropping out of the college.
- But I decided to keep going because I can't be a good student this semester anyway. (+ some other reasons... blah blah blah... justifications...)
- had lunch watching gamequitter Youtube videos, began to make plans for the next things. Asked my friends information about assignments and other exams. (I didn't go to school for two weeks... so I had to ask a lot...)
- had a haircut because I looked too gloomy. My hair was too long so I decided to take care of it. It was uncomfortable.
- studied soil mechanics(a few pages)
- got a message from the army because of some drill. (Every Korean boys who were discharged from the army have to attend 8 hours of drill every year) The date was not good because there are 3 classes at the same day, so I tried to change the date but there were possibility that the college would allow us not to attend the class. I decided to wait and see what professors say.
- did laundry. especially blankets. cleaned up my house. did dishes right after I had lunch/dinner. didn't procrastinate. took a shower and shaved beard.
- had a video telephony with my parents. I showed them my desk, my laptop, refrigerator, bed, closet, kitchen and my room. They looked satisfied.
What went well today: I studied, and prepared for the assignments and exam.
Miscellaneous accomplishments: cleaned up the house.
What I could have done to make my day better:
- I should have woke up earlier in the morning and took the exam even if I'm so dumb to solve problems.
- Shortening length of break time
Today I'm grateful for: the friends who told me assignments and exams.
One amazing thing that happened/I did today : I didn't procrastinate most of the things. Even if those were small.
- 4 replies
- 26 views
Juha added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsMy storyHey everyone,
My name is Juha. I'm a 24-year-old guy and I have been addicted to gaming for more than 10 years already. My gaming started on PS1 with some 2000's games, can’t remember which, but that's not relevant.
When I got my first computer it barely ran any other games but runescape. At that point already it was such a grind something like 8 hours / day gaming, but the real game changer was when my brother moved to other country and I got my hands on his gaming PC. At the same time, I was so excited to finally have gaming PC, but I also felt so empty since my brother wasn't anywhere close, so I got deeper on gaming to avoid going through the feelings and loneliness.
I have been diagnosed with deep depression and I see therapist twice a week. We have discussed all this stuff there. We even have tried to make some plans for controlling how much time I spend each day on computer, but I don’t have the self-discipline or control over that, it's more like when I sit at the computer, I'll be there +8h and then maybe eat something and go back or watch some Netflix. Almost all the time I spend, I spend watching some sort of screen. This year only my average gaming each day is more than 10h+, mostly WoW but CSGo time to time when my friends ask me to play with them
Gaming to me is an escape method which I have used for ages, it's helping me to forget my social anxiety and everything really. It feels like when I press my computer’s start button, it's also a start button to another side of me which in this situation is my addiction, from that point for the next hours it's controlling everything and trying to hold on it all the possible ways.
Alt + F4 (Quit gaming):
2014 I have already tried once to stop gaming, I sent a letter to Blizzard EU HQ where I gave them permissions to delete my whole Battle.net account. I also deleted every single game from my PC, it took a few months until I reinstalled most of them.
That attempt was a consequence due to one of my online friend sent me link Cam's TEDx Talk
Last time I started gaming again just because I didn't know anything about what to do when I'm not gaming but it's great to see what and how much Cam has done past few years to help us out on this.
Maybe I forgot some stuff but anyway here we go.
- 4 replies
- 56 views
superiggy added a topic in Start Here + IntroductionsGG EZ, quitting gaming :pHi everyone! I'm Ignacio from Argentina, I'm 28 years old.
Yesterday I was chatting with a friend about habits, personal development and whatnot, and I randomly decided "I'm gonna quit videogames for this whole week, I want to do this as an experiment". After commiting to this, I decided to search online and I was surprised to find so many great resources about this topic. I never thought of gaming as an addiction, but it is indeed! This website and these resources remind me of NoFap, and I think both are really important journeys to work on.
Thank you Cam for creating this community and helping so many people! I'm so glad I found this, and I'm excited about the progress I'll make.
- 2 replies
- 22 views
Reno F added a topic in Daily Journals90 days of something betterHi everyone, it's been a while!
About two weeks ago, my mother came from Brazil to visit me in Japan for about one week. Needless to say, I stopped everything I was doing to give her full attention and enjoy her presence, as we don't get to see each other often.
We had a really great time!
However, that came with a small cost. My routine and plans were put aside and now, 2 weeks later I've been having trouble to build them up again. I need to start moving forward urgently.
Because of that, I'm starting the 90 days NoFap challenge. This will be a tough one, and to be honest, I'm not sure I can do it. Nevertheless, I expect to go through some sort of change during this process. Rules are: no masturbation for 90 days (easy mode: I'm married).
I'll be posting a few times a week during the next 90 days and I hope to get in touch with some more awesome people through the journals and the rest of the forum!
This is it! I'm already on day 3.
See you around!
PS: I don't have problems with masturbation. I'm only using the challenge as an excuse to put more focus and build momentum in my life. You know, to make things more interesting.
PS2: I've been 9-months game free. Played a bit this February. Since then, I stopped counting.
- 2 replies
- 21 views