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Activity Stream

  1. Skyline123 added a topic in Start Here + Introductions   

    My story new here
    Hey there 
    im Jake im a 19 year old and and feel as though im 13 or less lol and want to break out of it and catch up on life experiences and that
    Basicly as a kid ive been rather sheltered everything done for me which may of led to me just playing games it was easy to get and so picked it up i felt fine until about high school where it changed a bit and as being a foreigner in the uk i assumed it was that (from US) and that led to me trusting people severely less, where i ended up just playing games instead which fed that and there were a fair few ppl out  there though which approached me and i did get along well but gradually overtime grew more distant and then and since the end of that i came to think its to do with games perhaps with the lack of experience out there and running back to it to prevent that idk as then thts all i could talk about and a bit now but much less so while others did their own thing i felt a bit like an outsider
    I think that was the main problem which games made worse as i couldnt maintain the friendships enough or relationships for that as the social skills are still a bit limited. Towards the end of that ended up just joking around being sarcastic to get laughs out of people but that was the limit as i couldnt really go beyond that. But for presentations or work stuff easy super confident you would think im some1 else which i still cant really understand to this day anyways 
    Recently scrapping that moving on, started working out, joined some airsoft and living 1 day at a time i dont feel depressed or anything but i think im getting closer to that i feel incomplete as have lost courage to talk to people in groups but 1 on 1 easy but sometimes a pause here and there and i feel awkward on that but removing games may be a good start 
     
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  2. Matthias added a post in a topic My Journal - Matthias   

    Day 24
    Had a great run, super productive meeting and a nice talk today!
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  3. Schwing added a post in a topic The Warrior's Infinite Opus   

    162 days journalling
    Days porn free: 17



    Fucking thrash!

    Woah! Today was awesome! I was like a beast at school. I couldn't have given a fuck! Worked out at 6 am and took a cold shower. Ate some porridge and went to school while my stepdad blasted black sabbath in the car! Sick!

    At school I could talk to anyone. No social anxiety. Nothing. Just chill. Void. Seems like I have truly embodied a lot of my life principles. I'm going to a martial arts trial day on june 5th. Looks like the best gym ever! I'll ask the fitness guy at school about barbells tomorrow. Dumbfuck metalhead weeb nerd in the weights room at school. Woah that should turn some heads!

    Super productive too. Bashed out a maths paper in the lesson. Got a bit of computing done/ physics when I got back home.

    Although I feel great I am still lonely whenever I am at school. It's fine when I'm back home. I get to talk to my internet friends (hah gay!). But at school I don't fit in anywhere. Too cool to be a nerd; too nerdy to be cool. Everyone is very clingy to their own social groupings. I don't care. I want to talk to everyone. But everyone doesn't want to talk to me so it makes me feel awkward. But I must always remember: "Fuck you! I am me! I have definition and you can't change that!"

    I was ruminating on destiny the other day. Destiny is real. I feel it. In this world we as human beings are defined not by conceptions of our minds but in the reality of our soul. Our soul is who we are- our definition. Your soul is an aggregation of psychological traits which determine your destinations. As are your circumstances. Our soul, predefined by genetics, is also shaped by our circumstances in its never ending evolution.

    Compare it to stick floating down a river. If I threw one big fat stick in the river; where it ended up would be dependent on the flow of the river at that time (time and space- circumstance). However if I threw a little stick in right at the same instance it wouldn't end up in the same place because it has different form (soul). By enriching the form; by embodying the soul you become the true master of your fate. But to master your fate is to not necessarily control it with your mind. The mind can only seek to enrich the soul and allow it to lead the way. That is destiny.

    Teenage girly journal entry over! You are dismissed! 'til next time!



    The demon within. It lies at the roots of the tree that sprouts the fruits of takezo's destiny!
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  4. Juha added a topic in Daily Journals   

    Fresh Start
    Day #1 
    It's 11.09 pm and I feel I have took big step on this.
    It was really hard to get out of bed, browsed internet on phone for 30min (Bad habit, doing that a lot). After that I went to a place which is meant for people who are going through hard part on life. Haven't thought that too much but after thinking with this mindset I have right now about quitting games and starting new chapter on life, It's feels great to know I have some place to go every morning and get support from there.
    When I got home I managed to produce music for 2h or more and I'm kinda happy with results I got. Watched some Cams GameQuitter videos and made plans how to move forward.
    I still played one game of CS:Go but it haven't been as big problem as WoW. I was almost shaking while thinking to delete WoW and all other games. But as evening went on I managed to do some big things. I logged into WoW sent all the stuff and gold (+200k & 500k worth on items) I had for one character and gave everything to randoms, after I was done with it I just deleted it. TBH it wasn't that big as it felt first. Deleted also every other games but CS:Go but will do that aswell, not just today. Well maybe CS is big problem for me after all.
    Next I'm gonna plug off my computer and will get back on this on saturday. 
    I am proud of myself with results I made today
    So until next time (saturday)
    Cya
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  5. giblets added a post in a topic Giblet's Journal   

    27 Apr 17.
    Haven't progressed looking into a format I like to take my journal offline yet. Right now I am just copying and pasting it into a word document, which doesn't exactly keep all the formatting. I think a spreadsheet would be better as I could track if I have completed my goals or not and how long they are going without being achieved etc. But anyway, the reason I haven't progressed with that idea is there are too many other goals that I am prioritising over it to try and get done, primary my budget spreadsheet. I am not keeping up with inserting a budget function a day.
    I broke my language streak! I didn't even realise I had missed this until this morning and I saw the notification still on my phone. There is no excuse for this - I allowed myself to get distracted again by preoccupation. Yesterday I was distracted by looking for raspberry pi parts/accessories. I probably should look into a program of how to control my preoccupation, because for every situation it has worked in my favour, there is a situation like this where I am annoyed because I forgot to do something. Or to look into some memory classes?
    Not much else happened yesterday/today. Moving constantly all day so not much time to sit and dwell about games, which again I think is a good thing.
    Days:
    Game Free: 9 (26 Apr)Facebook Free: 1 (25 Apr)Alcohol Free: 1 (25 Apr)Running Training: 1 (26 Apr)Language Training: 0 (26 Apr)Today I was grateful for:
    My Dad helping me out last week with some jobs around the house. The two aspects of my house that I am really enjoying at the moment he helped me fix up. Didn't complain or want anything in return, just shared his experience and skills openly. We need more people like this.Today I learned:
    Never work with children and animals! Whatever actor said that is a smart man.Goals completed today:
    Did not achieve anything I set out to do yesterday morning. This is upsetting.Enrolled in studies for next semester; I am a sucker for punishment.Goals I didn't complete today:
    Prioritise my goals. Did have a quick chat with my coach after I gave him the results of an Emotional Intelligence survey I did a few weeks ago, and I promised I would sit down and go through it in detail with my goals on Friday.Have not cleared out all game accessories in the shed.Drink 500ml of water as soon as I wake up.Didn't maintain language streak.Work out how to select a date range and corresponding cells from a spreadsheet.Goals for tomorrow:
    Work out how to select a date range and corresponding cells from a spreadsheet.Sort all my electronic peripherals to work out what I need to order for my laptop project.Put all game accessories in the shed.GTD Tip for tomorrow:
    Tried out not replying to emails for 24 hours yesterday. Worked fine and my stress was a lot lower! I would like to do this again to work it into a habit.Goals for this week:
    Finish Respawn worksheet #2.Finish my fundraising page.Add a budget function every day. Add 10 transactions a day.Keep my spending under $100 for the week.Clear out all game accessories in the shed.Try to talk to my leadership coach. Prioritise my goals.Start my research essay.Start building a timelapse project for the garden.Start to achieve some of these goals so it's not a stale copy and paste!
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  6. none239 added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Make that 3 sales!
    Day 78
    Went and visited people at old job. The company got bought out and they all expect to be fired in a few months. Ouch. I really dodged a bullet by leaving. A old friend of mine asked me what game I was playing. I lied and told him I was playing a game that came out over a year ago. I think he was skeptical. Had a long talk with my mother about the way things are going and our ongoing family struggles. She is fully supportive of my endeavor. She also asked about the games and I told her that I'm taking a break from gaming to work on business. Someday I will tell her the whole story about the addiction part but for now I don't want her to worry.
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  7. Hassaan added a topic in Everything Else   

    Website Idea, Need a Team
    Hey Everyone;
    I have an idea that I want to make come to life, but I don't have the technical knowledge just yet. I know anyone can make a website a decent one nowadays. My idea for website is this. 
    I want to make a youtube kind of site, but it only plays audio files. People will create profiles and will be able to post audio files(Music own made, podcast, and own short voice recording). The site will be like a hub for audio recordings. People will be able to come download and listen to stuff offline. I guess there will be a lot of legal things I will need to work out so that people don't post copyrighted material. 
    It will be a social network, with sound recordings. People will have their own profiles. Every month I want to change up the theme of the site. There will be beautiful graphics and great sounds. Really attract the creative people out there. 
    If anyone wants to work with me please send me a message on here, or discord. I am Hassy.
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  8. Matthias added a post in a topic Music Producing   

    FL is incredible when you use it for electronic music! However use it for recording stuff and it is shit . 
    Nice stuff u got there!
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  9. superiggy added a post in a topic GG EZ Respawn   

    Day #2
    I woke up at 7am. Instead of gaming, I've watched some Buddhism and personal development videos, went for a walk, went shopping for some misc items I've been needing for a while, and continued setting up my Linux workstation. I've also composed some music. And got a lot of work done. And it's only 2pm!
    At times I feel a little bit tempted to play some Overwatch, but...
    I quickly remember I'm making a positive change in my life and I want to keep it going.Suddenly I remember gaming was not that fun. Similar to the process that helped me quit Dota a long time ago: 75% of the matches you stumble upon flamers, bad players, agressive people, etc. Why endure all that crap?While setting up Linux on my gamer PC I accidentally broke Windows. I know how to fix it, but I think I'll leave it that way. If I ever feel like relapsing and playing games I'd have to go through a tedious 1 hour process of fixing Windows and redownloading the games. Definitely a nice obstacle that helps pausing an automatic impulsive reaction, observing the urges, and give place to more conscious actions.p.s. Thanks everyone for the support!
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  10. Schwing added a post in a topic KevinV1990's Journal   

    Yup! that's what I mean by meaningful. You didn't just sit there and drool out the window did you? Trust your gut! Don't study your dick of just because they told ya! You got it! Fuck the system!
    You're right about this body mind thing. I've been having serious problems with daydreaming lately. I haven't been meditating properly lately either. Been too much on the yang side of things lately. Gotta get me some of that sweet sweet yin!
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  11. tirEdOrange added a post in a topic Phyxius   

    I guess you support me already by reading my Journal and writing occasionally. I tried to do this all "on my own" but exchanging opinions on some topics is already really helpful. It maybe sounds like I'm a dickhead but I need to "show off" my achievements, so I need to work on them in order to be able to write something or else I will look bad, I hope this makes sense?! It's like I'm participating in a group work and I wanna do my part in it and if I just don't do anything at all I start to feel bad about it, all you have to do is being with me in that group Also expressing some feelings and thoughts helps a lot.
    26.04.2017, 16:51:
    Day 12
    So far my day was nice but not productive and if it wouldn't be for this forum I would probabaly forget to do my sport unit today! I can't run but I will do the 100 Push&Sit-ups.
    I was getting quiet upset during the last days since a thought has infected my mind and this thought is that I probably won't achieve anything great anymore in my life. Reflecting on the last 10 years I had a great start and a great downfall and then there is a big void afterwards and then there is a paralysing fear that this was probably my only chance to achieve something great and now it's gone. Today I don't have this feeling as strong as I had it during the last days and that's probabaly the reason why I'm able to talk about it.
    I don't know, I literally burned out already at the age of 18/19 because I trained or studied all day until then and kind of missed my childhood. I had success and the wrong people around me and that led straight into 7 years of void. So now after this void I'm simply confused about my goals and ambitions.
    My Goal once was to change the world and become rich in order to influence the world positively with the money that I earn. I never had the urge to live wealthy, I just had the urge to make the world a better place. But having a changed and more realistic view of the world, I can tell nowadays that I don't need money in order to do so and... that the influence that I can have on changing the world is little, no matter my income.
    I changed during the last years and I changed so much that I don't bother anymore about the well-being of the world. I just feel like the world is celebrating a big party and only a few are willed to clean up afterwards. I don't feel like any actions that I will do is going to have any impact whatsoever and that is just demoralizing.
    So if I don't feel like I can achieve anything great, just live an average life and be happy about it? But will this be enough for me, to get a job, earn some money, get a house and kids and just get 80 and die. Buy the cheap cellphone that is made with the help of slavery and the choco-pudding from the discounter which neither has chocolate nor pudding in it. I don't know if I can live with that.
    At this point I was able to think about myself so much, due to the self reflection and writing about my thoughts, that I already know an answer to the question that I can't constellate yet. The answer is: If I wanna change something in the world, then I need to change it in myself first. But what is my question to that and is it even important to know it?
    I mean, Cam did it completly right and he said it to me already a couple times. He wanted the world to change in a certain way, so he changed himself in the way he wanted the world to be. He tries to be the best role-model that is there in order to accomplish as much change as possible.
    ah sigh... I have so much insight from this Journal once again. Amazing.
    I'm so confused about my goals and ambitions right now that I can't really define the change that I want to make in this world and this is the tripping hazard that I set up for myself.
    Anyway, enough of thinking about this for today, I really need to get stuff done and study. I will keep on thinking about this topic tomorrow. I feel very enlightened now though.
     
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  12. Tom2 added a post in a topic My story   

    Good to hear that you are making the first step
     
    I'm not playing video games for 5 days now,(I know.... it's been only five days............ just want to share my opinion...) and I think the most important and effective way to forget video games is finding some other activities that can make you busy.
    3 Types of Activities You Need to Replace Gaming
    Actually, it's not my original idea...
    If you fail to find one soon, the deep... dark shadow of the wires and computer will smear into your brain... 
     
    In my horrible case(...), college subjects are making me busy and crazy(+mad, gloomy, etc).
    I'm not telling you to study something.(It sucks... you know  I believe there are a lot of other good activities in this world)
    I am not even a good student. I didn't go to school for 2 weeks in this semester. I know that I won't get good grades. I just do it because I decided not to escape. My goal in this spring is just finishing the line with whatever I have. (And after that, I want to get higher grades in the next semesters) I have nothing to lose and I know that I'm getting better in this process.
    How to Overcome Escapism
    YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT
    These are the videos that made me set up my mind.
     
     
     
     
    Try to find something that can conquer your brain.
    I think it is ok if you're not good at it (as I suck at studying)
    Consider a lot of options(except learning engineering............... just kidding) , try anything that interests you.
     
    Hope you feel better tomorrow, cheers 
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  13. KevinV1990 added a post in a topic KevinV1990's Journal   

    April 26, 2017 - 48 days without gaming
    And suddenly my mind gives me the perfect idea on how I have to write my book. Doing nothing last Monday really helped me to recharge, and I'm ready to take some steps toward my best self again.
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  14. Juha added a post in a topic My story   

    @Cam Adair @Tom2 Thanks both of you!
    I'm going to take my first step today which we planned with my therapist, will plug off my computer and bring the wire to basement. Trying to keep it there Thursday and Friday and see what feelings / cravings it will bring to my mind and how I can manage that situation.
    I'm thinking to delete all of my games aswell but at the moment that just feels insurmountable task. How I can manage with that feeling? Thinking that scares the shit out of me.
     
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  15. Juha added a post in a topic Music Producing   

    Another music producer here! 
    That program LMMS look's pretty cool software to be free. 
    My suggestion about DAW (Digital audio workstation) going for FL Studio, incredably easy to use / write melodies / automations and all kind of stuff. When it comes to EDM, there is tons and tons of remakes out on youtube which works greatly studying structure and basics of making music. 
    If you want to know more about basics and stuff send me message and I get back to you ASAP!  
    PS. You can definitely make something beautiful in short time, I started producing 5 year ago with no knowledge at all, just get on right path right away and you can make hot tunes in no time!
    About my music, I'm more active on Soundcloud than Youtube so here they are:
    https://soundcloud.com/juhasmusic
    https://www.youtube.com/user/Visiocc
     
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  16. KevinV1990 added a post in a topic KevinV1990's Journal   

    Yeah, but what is meaningful? And why should everything that I do be meaningful? Meaningful is abstract and almost everyone will have their own opinion about what is meaningful to do. I think that it was a good thing for me to just listen to my body and mind, and not do anything that day. Many people don't think that that is meaningful, and that I'm just being lazy (which also isn't a bad thing). I think that the pressure from society, of us needing to do something meaningful/good/important everyday, is one of the main reasons that people start to feel overwhelmed, miserable when they don't live up to society standards, and stressed out (burn-out) when they just can't keep up. That is the point where possible addictions will arise. People will start drinking much more, using drugs, or will get addicted to playing video games, because they feel that that is the only way to relax and empty their minds.
    I think that it is an important thing that people must learn to listen to their body, and not only physically but also mentally. Learn that will not be the end of the world when you will be lazy for one day. What is the worst thing that could happen?
    Yeah! That is something which I've learned the past few weeks.
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  17. AlexTheGrape added a post in a topic My Journal - Alex   

    Looks like the large format has been too much for me the past week. Last week I've been constantly working on my assignments, working at the restaurant and going to other events such as a fencing competition and a business workshop. Today has been a dedicated day off, which I think has helped me recharge properly. Tomorrow I'll make sure to do my day according to a high-school format so that there's no room for procrastination.
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  18. lilX added a post in a topic LilX Journal.   

    Im in Phuket, Thailand now. My exercise routine and diet have been bad in China,  and Im going to be extremely disciplined with everything when I go back to Canada. 
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  19. Hitaru added a post in a topic Captain Taru's Log: 20000 Withdrawals above the Sea   

    Quick update: I'm in Greece! We arrived yesterday after some 40 hours of traveling. My mates are fun and the foreigners look interesting... if I can keep up with the names  Today we're supposed to begin the real stuff. Looking forward to it. 
    I'll be probably writing in my NoFap journal more since I'm currently battling that and there will be far more emotional shifts than news these days (besides "we did this and that" and I'll tell you about that in detail later). Link is in my signature, but you know that already  If you just want the gist, it's being Hell but I have good chances of reaching a week and that fills me with good energy, the very few times I forget about how hellish it is. But being in control feels awesome.
    I sincerely hope you have a great week, I'll try my best on my part!
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  20. 28_yrs_of_gaming added a post in a topic The Game Destroyer's Journal   

    DAY # - 12 - UNFINISHED!
    Time I woke up: 0800
    Time I went to sleep yesterday:  0130
    Physical task: Ran 3 miles on the treadmill.
    Mental task: Reading.
    Projects: None.
    Miscellaneous accomplishments: 
    ~ 2 hours of extra training at the fire house this evening.
    Summary of Day #: 12
    Went over some of the RESPAWN materials. Great stuff! I recognize I'm already doing some of the things in the program which is an encouragement. I still feel like a big loser for some reason. Ugh. Yesterday, I said something about helping with a whale, but the teenager that came over didn't ask his mother first. He was trying to ditch out of his homework. Hahahaha! It was cool because I really need to focus on home and family right now. Then I had a callout for work. So, it was good I wasn't out on the ice. Ok. Next? I'm taking things one day at a time. Today was fairly slow. I'm trying not to crash by taking on too many new or extra things early on in this detox. I'm trying not to pressure myself. I want to actually finish some things that I have going now. My next big hurdle is to pass Fire Fighter One training in July. I had some drama today when I had to call the police on a neighbor. I'm not going to relive all that right now, but it ended without the situation escalating. The trouble was averted. I played cards with two of my sons before bedtime. That was relaxing. Now, I'm eating a piece of cake just before bed. Goodnight, game quitter friends.
    What I am grateful for today:
    ~ My family is in good health.
    ~ I have steady work.
    ~ My family is happy.
    Laters... 
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  21. Hitaru added a post in a topic [KO] Tom's journal   

    @Cam Adair I am really happy to see this is not spam  (we're truly reaching the world!)
    Also, the first @Tom set the bar high, I wonder where your journey will lead you? Looking forward to it! (sorry for using Eng btw, I just had to say it) 
    See you!
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  22. 28_yrs_of_gaming added a post in a topic Before posting a journal... (ISO Codes)   

    Good job, Hitaru!
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  23. 28_yrs_of_gaming added a post in a topic My goal is being a good student again   

    Welcome to the forum! This is a great place to start on your new journey.
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  24. Cam Adair added a post in a topic Time for something new   

    Thinking about games will go away over time, but it will likely take more time for it to go away than you think! All good, notice the thoughts and let them pass like clouds in the sky.
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  25. Cam Adair added a post in a topic 3rd time's a charm right?   

    Congrats!!
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